Article
Negatively Speaking
by Graeme Kapono Urlich
As a part my training and development as an Adventurer Shaman, I have
had to become very aware of my use of language, both consciously and
sub-consciously. As a result of this, I have also become vividly aware
of how negative we can be when we describe even the most positive
things, the result of which is to program negative and potentially
destructive sub-conscious patterns.
When someone asks you how you are feeling, do you reply "great",
"very well thank you" or, "not bad", "fair", "not so good"? When you
have just finished a really nice meal and someone asks you if you
enjoyed it, is you reply "really nice", "excellent", delicious meal" or,
"not bad"? When you have turned out a good piece of work or achieved
something that really pleases you, do you prefer to hear "excellent
effort that", " really good work", "I am very pleased" or, "not a bad
effort there"?
The sub-conscious mind works on pure logic and does not know about
context when we use language. Unless we pay particular conscious
attention to context, the sub-conscious will often pick out key words in
a sentence and use those to generate experience or feeling. If most of
the words are negatives, or have negative associations for your
sub-conscious, then most of the experiences and feelings will tend
toward the negative. Using biofeedback techniques such as muscle
testing, it is possible to demonstrate the dramatically different
effects that the two language patterns have on our energy levels and
emotions.
When you are talking to someone and disagree with what they are
saying, do you say, "I don't believe that", "that's rubbish" or, "I
believe something else", "I have a different opinion"? When you are
feeling poorly, do you say "I don't feel well", "I am not feeling well"
or, "I am feeling a little off colour for the moment"? These similar
statements are interpreted by the conscious mind as meaning the same
thing, but to the sub-conscious they are quite different. To help the
healing process you could say, "I'm feeling much better now". Even if
this is not true, the sub-conscious mind will begin to bring it about.
Using the negative expression will keep us feeling unwell for longer.
Another aspect of this is how we have learned to ask for things. It
is vastly more common for people to complain about something being wrong
than for people to suggest a solution. I have trained myself to ask for
the desired result rather than to complain about something and hope for
someone to recognise this as a request - and possibly feeling
disgruntled that it hasn't been recognised. I teach my children to come
and ask for a drink rather than to complain that they are thirsty - to
ask for help with something rather than to state that they can't do it
themselves.
This seemingly insignificant rephrasing of descriptions and requests
can have a tremendous effect on the way we experience life. We become
more positive in our outlook and people around us begin to respond to us
in more positive ways. Things tend to start working out more because we
are choosing ways for them to work out rather than hoping that they
will. People like to know what you want from them instead of hearing
what they do wrong. Our own sub-conscious responds the same way - if a
solution is suggested our sub-conscious will move to bring this about
quickly. If we simply state that there is a problem then our
sub-conscious will have no clear choice to move towards and is like to
choose a less than desirable solution and create a new problem.
It has taken me some time to become aware of this process and to
remember to change it. I still forget quite often but gradually more and
more things in my life are working better and better. The effort to
change has been well worth it for me and I am sure that you will see the
same benefits in your own lives if you take on the challenge and stick
with it.
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